Category Archives: A Man’s Point of View

Shattering Your Strongholds: Paroled Princesses in Self-Produced Prisons

“There is a difference between being delivered and having freedom.
Deliverance is a physical thing, freedom is purely psychological.”


“Dear Woman,
 Are you comfortable in your confinement? My guess would be yes. You can be free if and when you really want to be. So stop blaming me, and let me help you. I am not your enemy.”

Ladies, this topic is not a typical “From a man’s point of view” topic, because we all deal with it. But, I share it simply because men do tend to get beat down quite a bit for some things, which are mostly products of your own thoughts.

Has anyone ever told you that there is a difference between deliverance and freedom? Deliverance is a physical thing, freedom is purely psychological. Moses was the physical deliverer of the Israelites and brought God’s promise to reality. Their deliverance was successful, but although they were far away from Egypt and out of harm’s way of Pharaoh’s army, they could not be set free from the bondage of their own slave mentality. Not even God would change their minds. Therefore, they could not be allowed to enter the Promised Land, because of an old imprisoned mindset. You are responsible for your own freedom.

As En-vogue used to say back in the day, “Free your mind, and the rest will follow”. If you allow it, your very own mind will fool you into thinking you are still in prison, when the doors are not even locked. The liar has been defeated with the truth, but the after effects of the lies that you were told still remain.

Why do we spiritualize everything we experience in life or demonized everything that comes up against us? Spiritual warfare is waged in our minds, it’s not against demons. The only thing that moves the devil from being under your feet is if you allow him to get into your head. God uses Angels to fight demons, we fight our thoughts. We’re not even supposed to fight against other people, but the very ones we say we love, get it the worst. Walking in the flesh is simply having a wrong way of thinking, or living life based on our wrong thoughts. Walking in the Spirit is simply a right way of thinking and acting on it.
Ephesians 6:10-19 teaches us about our real enemies, (the word Prince means first, or ruler. A principal is a person, the first ruler. A principle is an idea or thought, a rule or standard that controls a law regarding practical life. So principalities are the first line of thought that rule your mind, and sets the standard for how we conduct our daily lives. Now read 2 Corinthians 10:3-6 in the context of thinking.

The wiles of the devil, his plans or methods (meth: a systemized way of doing things / odos: a road). So Satan’s method is to make a roadway to gain access into your mind in order to affect your entire life. Devil- Greek word for Devil is diablos (dia: circle, hole, diameter / bolos: to throw, hurl, or shoot).
Satan is one who throws accusations for you to receive, believe, or as suggestions for you to consider, meditate on, and eventually follow. Your initial thought is not the sin; it’s the follow up that gets you.
The context of Romans 12:1-3 is actually dealing with our thinking (spiritual warfare). YOU present your bodies a living sacrifice. This is YOUR reasonable service. Your worship, is to be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so (that you might know the good, acceptable, perfect will), as you wash your thought life with the word; you eliminate Satan’s access into your life.
The war is in you, but it’s not between you and the devil. The battlefield is in your mind, between your spirit (the real you) and your soul (your innermost thoughts, subconscious mind). You think it’s too difficult to control your thoughts and mind? If everyone could see your thoughts, would you be able to control them then? I thought so.

2 Corinthians 10:3-6, Thoughts lead to imaginations, (images) and imaginations lead to strongholds (your way of thinking). Strongholds cause you to form decisions, whether they are right or wrong. You build a mental fortress to protect them, (your personal right to believe what you believe, based on your past experiences, perception, religion, family, community, etc.).
So, how do you break out of this self-imposed prison that have been holding you hostage for your lifetime? First, you cast down strongholds by casting down your imaginations. You cast down your imaginations by taking every thought captive to make sure that it is in obedience to the word of God (Christ Jesus). You create a system of replacing your wrong thoughts with right thoughts, immediately.

To take captive, means to conquer with a sword (the Word of God), i.e. (Put on the full Armor of God). Take every thought captive when it appears, when you recognize it, you are removing another brick.

Proverbs 4:23,
Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it flows the issues of life. Above all else, guard your heart (carefully watching the activity of your thoughts, motives, and intents), because everything that happens in your life will start with your perception of reality and your thinking.
Self Denial
You become what you say, You say what you believe, You believe what you think,
You think what you hear, You hear what you listen to, You listen to what you agree with
You agree with what you allow, You allow what you do not confront
You do not confront what you fear, You fear what you do not love
You do not love what you do not understand, You do not understand what you reject
You reject the very thing, That comes to bring you deliverance
…and therefore deny your own FREEDOM

John L. Donelson is the author of the forth coming book:

Letters to a Woman From a Man’s Point of View
How to Deal With Male P.M.S.
Power, Money, and Please Don’t Forget the Sex!

Facebook: Letters to a Woman From a Man’s Point of View

Waiting in the Rain


Who wants to wait in the downpour of the cold and wet rain without an umbrella?

I will answer that question for you, just about no one. Most of us who find ourselves in the midst of a rain shower would choose to take cover in a nearby shelter. No one, if they were to be truly honest with themselves, likes to feel vulnerable or helpless. Often times, storms erupt without a moment’s pause and catch us all off-guard and unexpected. Take it from me: it is possible for the weatherman to have sunshine with clear blue skies in the forecast, only for you to find yourself trapped in the grip of a thunderstorm. So many times, I was ill-prepared for the weather conditions, fell victim to not being dressed appropriately, and without an umbrella, let alone a poncho. Like many of you reading this page right now, I was left with no other choice but to walk and wait in the rain. I could have elected to press fast forward by running through the storm, but as a child, my mother shared some words of wisdom that I will never forget. She said to me once, after we were caught off guard by a sporadic rain shower,  “Run or walk son, you are still in the rain, and the rain is still going to get on you no matter how fast you run.”

The same principle is true about the storms we encounter in our lives, in the fact that we may try our best to run through the storms; however, our personal storms will inevitably make contact with us. As Christian believers in pursuit of becoming more like Christ each day, we have to learn and develop temperance for the trials that come upon us unexpectedly.

In life I have been been faced with the ultimate challenge of having to endure the tragic loss of a love one.  I’ve suffered the loss of my father suddenly without warning and no time to say goodbye. Now I can only rely on God to bring closure and mend my broken heart.  Believe me I’m not writing this to play the role of a victim but inviting you inside of my life so that you may examine the victory in having a sincere relationship with Christ.  Contrary to popular opinion bad things can still occur during good times or joyful seasons. In other words trouble waters can begin to rain in our lives despite the forecast of clear blues skies and sunny conditions.

Trust me, it is hard to stand still, when you do not know what you are waiting for or what to do. God desires to teach us how to stand still and wait. If you are like me you need Christ to provide you with the necessary tools needed to go through every event in life.

GOD BLESS YOU.  HERE ARE SOME TOOLS THAT HAS HELPED US ALONG THE WAY. (1) WAIT And Stand WITH PATIENCE-allow God to work in your life and experience one day at a time. (2) WAIT – also means to act like a waiter. You and I may not be able to stop the wind and rain in our lives but we can serve our way through it. Right in the mist of your waiting please find the time to bless someone else. I dare you to say to the Holy Spirit within yourself” MAY I TAKE YOUR ORDER”. (3) WAIT IT OUT- no you and I can’t stop the storm but you can out live the storm. God doesn’t want us to run through the thunder and lightening HE wants us to stand in the trying and turbulent times.

You and I can and will out live our storm, because the Lord of the tempest (Jesus Christ) is within you. The bible says having done all to stand the only option is to stand! (EPHESIANS 6:13) Stand still wait on the wind to turn in your direction.

I prophesy a word of clarity over your life that the wind and rain that has been blowing against you is ordered by the Lord in order to make you better. THE SAME STORM THAT HAS FELT LIKE IT HAS CURSED YOU HAS BEEN BLESSING YOU ALL ALONG! Storm winds blow character into the foundation of our lives and whatever is in the foundation holds everything else together. WAIT I SAY ON THE LORD (PSALMS 27:14)! Wait you are not losing your mind your God is just breaking a mindset. Often it has been said that “Good things come to those who wait” but I beg to differ “Good things are in those who wait on the Lord.” Remember Don’t Press Fast Forward! Learn to appreciate where you are! Wait! Don’t try to find an emergency exit endure the process! Stay Blessed! ~OTR


 Oliver Reid is working on his sophomore book, Words From the Low Place “Your Lowest For God’s Highest “based on this article. He is returning to the writing scene in search of ordinary individuals with amazing stories of victory in order to Coauthor his Words From the Low Place Project











Saving Samson From Delilah


A Fool, according to the Bible, is someone who is dull, and or is unresponsive. Are you a foolish woman when it comes to covering your husband? There are many details in this job description, but three points to focus your attention on is time, opportunity, and pressure. These three things are part of the equation that the enemy uses to plant the seed of sin in the mind. And this is what he will use to attack your man.
God has given women the privilege and ability to bring life to their husbands with love. Women have enormous power with men, and it can be used for good or for evil. Consider the example from the Scripture above; the power of Delilah with Samson. Samson could take on an army of warriors, but he surrendered everything he was to the charms of one woman. The wisest and richest man to ever live fell under the interest and advisement from his many wives and concubines.

Feminine power was intended to give life. Eve was designed to complete her man, to nurture life in him, as well as the life that came from him. Many wives do not understand how profound this power is. God has blessed women with a feminine ability that you can use for great good in your husband’s life. God has plans for your man. He wants to use you to grow him into a godly man. Your power can meet his aloneness and his companionship needs, affirm his sexual identity, protect him from temptation, and keep him safe, secure and saved throughout his life.

Meet His “Aloneness” Need

There is something missing inside of every man. And it’s by divine design. After God created Adam, He said, “It is not good for the man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18). It’s an astounding truth that the perfect God of the universe created a perfect human being and then declared, “it (his aloneness) is not good.” God intentionally created the first man with an aloneness need. Man was incomplete. God orchestrated the perfect arrangement for His grand finale of creation: a woman, the “helper suitable for him.” It is still true since “in the beginning” in Genesis, a wife makes a man complete and whole. God removed a rib from Adam’s side to fashion his mate, but He never replaced it. The wife is God’s plan to fulfill that need and cover his heart, where the rib once was.

God brought you into his life to be his “helper” to meet his companionship need. In a Christian marriage, this oneness is a unity of mind, body, and soul, and is celebrated through the sexual union. In marriage we can touch the holiness of God; we can recapture a taste of what was lost in the Garden when a husband and a wife express love, transparency, trust, and sacrifice in the mystery of marital intercourse.

Bless His Sexuality

God created men to be attracted to women; I don’t apologize for being who He wired me to be. He had multiple purposes in mind. Adam’s need was not just for a companion. He needed Eve for the joy of finding pleasure in her total person—body, soul, and spirit—and for the affirmation and blessing of his identity as a man that come through her love for him. A wife can profoundly validate her man’s God-ordained manhood. Since all men are created with an aloneness need, they journey from boyhood into adulthood needing to know that their maleness is good and positive. Humanly speaking, this is a question that only his wife should answer, a blessing only she should give. He has no other legal way to express this need.
Genesis 2:25 says, “. . . and the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.” As a result, every wife has a deep, life-altering responsibility to her husband to be a helper, and help him feel like the man God created him to be. If you love my husband, you won’t view his sexual needs disapprovingly, but as God-given and for a purpose. God made him and God wired him.

Protect Your Husband from Temptation

You have the power to protect your husband from temptation by making sure his sexual needs are met by you and you alone. I have a good friend who said it this way: “If you don’t want to do his laundry, your husband can take his clothes to the cleaners. If you decide you don’t want to cook anymore for him, he can go out to any number of great restaurants to eat. But if your husband isn’t getting his sexual needs met at home with you, and he goes somewhere else, God calls that a sin.” It’s not just his sin, but yours as well. The same Bible that commands him to be faithful to you, also commands you to cover his need. Too many women would love to have him if I let him leave home for work or travel constantly in a state of sexual deprivation. First Corinthians 7:5 (NKJV) tells us, “Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to . . . prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”

Don’t misunderstand what I’m saying. If your husband sins in this way, he’s responsible before God. But at the same time, understand that you play a powerful role in helping him not yield to temptation. God created us as men and women with profoundly inherent differences. If you love him, you’ll want to protect him from the limitless temptations that the enemy of his soul floats by him day after day. A person can get away from drugs or alcohol, but there is nowhere to go to get away from that type of temptation. You are most powerful as a wife when you become a student of what your husband likes and then use that knowledge and your feminine skill to protect him from temptation and sin. Renew your mind with the Song of Solomon, and realize how much sexual freedom and fun you are really designed to have with your spouse.

Keep Him for Life

Have you ever thought about what it means to “have” and “hold” your husband? To have implies a possession. It means he belongs to you and no one else. He is your responsibility, and you are his. Are you fulfilling your sexual responsibility? For frequency? Creativity? Have you turned him down more often than you have invited his love? Do you put his needs before or after those of your children, your church or your work?

To hold means to keep or bond, much like a magnet. A magnet has the power within to pull another polar opposite to itself. My husband and I are virtual opposites in nearly every way. It’s what attracted us to each other in the first place. But I must continue to be a magnet in his life if I am to keep him. If you notice, you start to loose the attraction for him once you try and make him just like you. Opposites attract, not the same polarities.

This may come as no surprise to you, but most men want—really want—their wives to passionately desire them. And when you express sexual longing for him—whether verbally or nonverbally—your husband is unlikely to refuse your magnetic power. The more a wife affirms her husband’s God-given manhood, the more she helps build him into the man God wants him to be. This power of a wife to affirm him, bless him, protect him, and keep him is blessed by God. It is a very good, nurturing, life-giving gift. Knowing this, I’ve often wondered why women don’t want or choose to use their God-given powers to affirm and nurture their husbands more often.

Make an investment that could pay wonderful dividends in your marriage. What man wouldn’t go the extra mile for his bride after she would publicly admire him and privately honored him?
By using her feminine powers in such a powerful way, a wife can ignite a fire in the soul of her mate that blazed for weeks. This is, after all, a biblical principle.

This power you have as a wife is blessed by God. It is a very good, life-giving thing. The question remains: What will you do about this power you possess? Are you going to put it to death, bury it, deny it, or will you choose to exercise your sexual power to create a soul-satisfying confidence in your man?

John L. Donelson
Copyright © 2011
Revelations Media, LLC


A Man’s Pride

“As a boy you learned to win, you learned to pick and choose. Though you learned to play the game, you’re so afraid to loose.  It takes a man, just to understand a man’s pride.  It’s a man’s pride baby, it makes him laugh and makes him cry, it’s a man’s pride that keeps a man alive… It’s a man’s pride baby, something we all should understand. It’s a man’s pride that makes a man a man.” – Morris Day

I’m sorry, but when I got the email about the topic for this article, I immediately heard the lyrics to this song in my head. If you are a fan of mid-80s music scene, you would know that those words of wisdom are not mine, but from the mouth of the smooth operator extraordinaire himself, Mr.  Morris Day, (formerly known as the lead man of The Time).

The requested topic for this article is “A Man’s Pride”, but there was technically no request for “A Male’s Pride”, and so I do believe man also includes wo-man. (Smile ladies). The same prideful spirit (attitude, or train of thought) that makes a woman upset because he doesn’t express his feelings to you or romance you the way you want, is the same prideful spirit that keeps you from reminding him to take out the trash, or telling him what you need from him, again, just because you feel you shouldn’t have to say it more than once. He’s not a mind-reader he’s a man! And it’s not male pride, it’s just plain Pride!

As I waited to see what I would really like to share with you ladies about “pride”, I looked over at a piece of paper on my office wall that has these powerful words in my own handwriting, “He Decided to DIE”.    OK, so what. What does that have to do with a man’s pride? I tried to push the thought aside, and tuck the words away for a later project; maybe for a future poem, a book, a play, or even a motion picture. (Don’t hate me; it costs you nothing for me to dream.) So I turned to look at it again. He Decided to Die.

when I originally penned those four words, I was receiving them as an answer to a question I asked God about myself, concerning marriage.  I desperately wanted to learn how to not allow dealing with others to move me.

God simply said to me, “Write this down on a piece of paper, and make it big! “He Decided to DIE”.             I began hearing the song in my head… “He would, not, come, down, from, the, cross, just, to, saaaaaaave himself… He Decided to Die, Just to Save me. Wait a minute, I thought. He Decided… to Die. His sacrifice was not a response to the actions of others; it was not an afterthought, but a decision. I read Matthew 26:39 (NLT). He went on a little farther and fell face down on the ground, praying, “My Father! If it is possible, let this cup of suffering be taken away from me. Yet I want your will, not mine.”

What greater enemy does a man have to battle his pride than the opponent of personal sacrifice? Learning to die to what he wants or desires, for the benefit of another. Do you think you have more on your plate than anyone else? Even if you switched plates with someone else, you would probably beg to get it back. What about Jesus? Can you possibly imagine what was in of His cup when he looked inside?

Husbands have to learn to love sacrificially; fighting the fight of pride by giving of ourselves unselfishly. Sometimes we want the prizes of leadership, but not the pressures that come with the responsibilities. Sometimes we forget that we are the ones responsible for practically taking the word and washing our wives, (and children, and our households) in order to make them holy and clean.

Women will give as much mouth and attitude as they have to give, and they will even borrow extra if they don’t think they have enough to serve at the time. But, they cannot withstand the power of a man who sacrifices his wants or needs for her good, from his heart, under God’s anointing. (Hey, stash your attitude for another time, because you know I’m on point. Just put it away, before you hurt somebody).

If you frequent our church services, you would often hear our pastor spout this marriage disclaimer: “God designed marriage to kill YOU!” So if you are having marital issues, it’s because you’re not dead. What is more romantic to a woman than sacrifice? What is more seducing than the dance of death? What better way to say I Love You, than to give yourself, or your lifestyle for your most valuable friend?

Ladies, ask yourself a few hard questions about your own personal sacrifices. Is an extra hour of sleep really more important than sex with your spouse, when he has been practically begging for your time? (This one always puts me in the doghouse, but I ain’t scared of you!) Regardless of whether or not your child was there in your life before your spouse, is your maternal bond stronger and more valuable than your marriage covenant? If you say yes… you are out of order. Don’t hate me, I’m just the messenger!

When do you know when you are dead? You know that you are dead, when it doesn’t hurt anymore. When it no longer matters to you if you are not compensated for what it cost you; when you don’t expect repayment to do the good you already know to do. Real death is getting to a place where you truly rely on God’s rewards, rather than on your own survival instincts that tell you to protect yourself.

How many times will you have to die? Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 15:31 (NLT) …For I swear, dear brothers and sisters, I face death daily. This is as certain as my pride in what the Lord Jesus Christ has done in you. Do you die daily? Are you prepared to, if you have to? Or are you fed up and want to quit?

Focus on the future; don’t meditate on the madness in the middle. For many of us, it’s hard to focus on the future because of the present pain. So how can we achieve this? (Hebrews 12:2 (NLT), We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, on whom our faith depends from start to finish. He was willing to die a shameful death on the cross because of the joy he knew would be his afterward. Now he is seated in the place of highest honor beside God’s throne in heaven.)

How dead are you? Can you still feel the pain? Many scriptures refer to something called a burnt offering. That simply means that whatever was sacrificed was set on fire and burned until it was completely consumed, and there was nothing left of it. The whole entire offering was given up,            and there was nothing left of it that could be recognized to identify it. So, is there anything left of you that can be identified as you? Are you still alive and kicking? Have you completely died to your pride?

You deal with your pride (male or female) through your sacrifice. Considering all others before yourself. Not responding, (eventually killing) the selfish and instinctive responses from your flesh, when you don’t get the payment that you feel you deserve, for giving love. We are so used to seeing the word Love, in 1 Corinthians 13, but the word “Love”, is actually “Charity”. When do you generally see this word mostly? Around the holidays, when people freely give something of value away to someone else, without the expectation of a return or reward. Charity… Love, a decision of sacrificial giving – the remedy to Pride.

In my conclusion, I want to add yet another amazingly true quote from the wise sayings of Morris Day. “Love is a game you don’t play to win, you play to survive.”


John L. Donelson
Copyright © 2011
Revelations Media, LLC

That Night In Eden


Though God,
with mind stroke
and wave of hand,
created the universe,
never ending,
forever growing,
its only parameters
defined by His own divine fingertips;

had created pristine oceans flowing,
towering mountains
that stretched to the heavens,
searching for home;

had created emerald plains
that seemed to roll into infinity,
and distant planets that would become stars,
celestial sparkles in earth’s night sky;

and created wild creatures
of every sort imagined
in His own sweet dreams;

it was not enough!

There remained a void,
something missed,
something needed to satiate
His complete love.

on one bright and sunny day,
His eyes transfixed on magnificence,
and a smile that
stretched across His whole universe,
God breathed life into the dust
of a special plot of Earthen soil
He would called Eden.

And in a moment,
there was man,
a new wild creature,
with intellect,
a heart,
a soul,
a miracle offspring
made in the image and likeness
of the divine creator Himself.

But as God looked lovingly upon Adam
as he discovered Eden,
and watched him,
as with a child’s energy and wonder,
he frolicked in abundant garden,
at the sweet, soft, glorious assault
of his senses,
those blessings that God granted
so that man might experience all that is living,

God grinned,
as Adam marveled at the sight of pervasive beauty
nestled in every corner of what seemed an eternity,
feeling the innocent tickle of buttercups
that he brushed across his cheeks,
listening to the errant gusts
of invisible winds
that teased his imagination,
tasting plump berries
that would burst at the seams,
and smelling the lush,
moist, cushion of grass
as he laid to slumber,

God knew that for this mortal man,
like Himself once lonely,
there remained a void,
something missed,
something more needed for him to love.

beneath a crimson and golden sky,
God waved His hand again,
so that Adam might sleep.
And as the dusk surrendered into night,
God performed another miracle.

Taking a single rib from Adam’s side,
an emotion-filled, passionate, God
raised it high into the magical African night,
the blackest ebony firmament,
full of mystery,
and surprise.
And when God placed the rib back at Adam’s side,
it was woman,
meaning the night before.
Adam was awakened the next dawn
by a new, sweet, fragrance.
With sleepy eyes slowly parting,
he glimpsed the wondrous form nestled beneath him,
her exquisite beauty making his eyes bulge,
and they have bulged ever since.

Adam stared in wonder,
marveling at smooth skin
painted the color of African night,
drinking in Eve’s full lips,
that spoke to him
still closed.
He stroked thick, midnight hair
that tickled like buttercups,
and listened to her gentle breathing,
those soft gusts on invisible winds
that teased his imagination,

all the beauty of Eden,
packaged into the delicate blessing
that lay beside him.

And Adam cried,
having discovered
what he had never known was missing,
having known loneliness,
but not knowing why.

His happy tears slid across his cheeks
and collected beneath his chin,
until they could cling no more
and began to drop upon Eve.

the first thing this world beheld
for this new creation
was a tear-laden Adam,
someone she would instantly love.
By instinct,
she caressed him,
to console,
to mother,
to love.

At the dawn of man,
blackest Eve,
as all of her daughters who would follow,
became the strength that would help man
carry on,
his leaning post,
his heart food,
the only place his seed might flower.

Make no mistake!
To celebrate woman
is indeed a celebration of man’s better half.
His first act was to explore,
to marvel
and wonder.
Hers was to love,
to care
and mother.

With all of his extraordinary strengths,
man possesses great weaknesses.
Thank God for the blessing that is woman,
whose truest strength
is the unceasing capacity for love.

That one night in Eden,
knowing that He hadn’t quite finished,
God improved upon man
by making woman.

© Terrance Afer-Anderson March 18, 1995