Category Archives: Single Moms

Single Mom: Staying In Touch With The “Real” You


We’ve heard over and over again that single mothers are both “mom and dad”. Although, we cannot in reality be two people, many of us do a “bang up” job raising healthy, successful children in spite of the missing mate. But being the only parent in the house is an arduous task. So, we must aggressively take good care of ourselves – mind body and spirit – so that we don’t lose ourselves in the daily demands of raising our children.

This is why the primary focus of our single mother support groups in Kansas City is to focus on the women behind the mom character. At the meetings we spend the bulk of our time discovering how we, as single moms, can lead mentally stable, balanced, complete lives. To be able to raise our children confidently and effectively, we’ve got to take good care of ourselves mentally, spiritually and physically.

Here are 5 tips to guide you in staying in touch with yourself as you parent your children.

 #1 Find some “YOU” Time
I’m not saying you have to set aside an entire day for yourself, but if you are able, find some amount of  time in your hectic schedule to just enjoy your life. When my son was small, I would use his nap time to listen to music, take a long bubble bath or eat some sinfully decadent dessert. Granted, it wasn’t a lot of time, but it was enough time for me to slow my day, refresh myself, and hear my thoughts.

 #2 Maintain Friendships
Children are fun and we love them, but they are not to be our primary source of companionship. This is too much responsibility for the children and not a healthy dynamic. The roles in families should be clear – parents are to parent and children need to be free to be children. They shouldn’t have to hear you vent about work, relationships and the lack of money. They need a sense of safety and structure.

Friends provide much needed “adult time” for single moms. Being able to confide in a good friend helps us gain insight into ourselves. Sharing secret thoughts is cathartic and also enables us to view the world through a clearer lens. Friends also provide a supportive “net” for us so that when times get rough; our friends are there to remind us of our past victories and our future goals. We all need that.

  #3  Pamper Yourself
Single moms, more than anyone, need to find creative ways to pamper themselves. Pampering yourself doesn’t need to be an expensive indulgence. Right after put your children to bed, do your nails, write in your journal, brainstorm, or just sit back and daydream.

One of my girlfriends really understands the importance of pampering herself. She regularly spends time sipping coffee from her balcony while listening to her favorite jazz cd. She frequently cooks meals that she particularly likes and she often buys special gifts for herself. I believe this is why she is so enjoyable to be around. There’s a calmness and confidence about her that comes from her inner peace with herself. She clearly loves herself and that makes it easier for others to love her too!

#4  Feed Your Spirit
We are body, mind and spirit. We often take care of our bodies by feeding and nourishing it. We challenge ourselves mentally to build our mind “muscles”, now let’s talk about our spirits.

Our spirits guide our actions and essentially drive our lives. This is why it’s important to spend time feeding our spirits with good books, prayer and listening to good music. A simple rule of thumb is to be very cautious of why types of exterior influences that you allow into your spirit. Violent music, yucky movies and negative people tend to make us tense, angry and discouraged. Instead, fill your life with positive things that will inspire you, educate you and feed your spirit.

So, again, be careful what types of things that you allow into your world. Keep them positive by focusing on whatever things are good, true, honest and of a good report.

  #5 Get Your Blood Pumping
Exercise is a wonderful way to feed your mind, body and spirit. Find a way to become active, single mom! Walking, jogging and running around the backyard with your kids are great ways to get your heart pumping.

If you’re like me, finding a way to exercise can be a challenge. The key is to make exercise as fun and enjoyable as possible. Recruit a friend to be your walking buddy, or join a workout group that offers child care. There are countless ways to exercise on a minimal budget, with minimal time and with minimal motivation!

Single mom, you are the most important earthly element in the lives of your children. You absolutely must find ways to stay focused, motivated and in touch with your inner self so that you can operate at your optimal level. Follow these tips, add to the list and stay centered!

Teri Worten


True Freedom


There is one of two places we live our lives– freedom or bondage. There is no half-way point.

As you embark on the life of parenting alone, it is crucial that you feel empowered and encouraged to persevere. That only comes in freedom through Christ. When I think of freedom, I think of words like:joy, peace, happiness, and forgiveness. I think of living guilt-free from my past and eagerly looking forward to my future.

However, there is the dark, opposite of that- bondage. That word evokes feelings of suffocation, fear, anxiety, and embarrassment, and it is where so many choose to camp.

As a victim of years of physical and sexual abuse at the hand of many men in my own life,  I easily understand the pit that so many of us fall into. We begin to question God’s hand in our lives, the “whys” and “hows” . Many of us pretend that we have never suffered through emotional or physical abuse, or even the trauma of divorce or unwed pregnancy. We gloss over our deep emotions, put a smile on our faces, and attempt to parent. Problem is, we could never effectively parent a child until we have experienced the freedom found in a relationship in Christ.

I have counseled many women who feel living as a Christian is simply too hard. There are too many things that you cannot do, too many parameters to stay within. Let me offer a new perspective.

As the parent of a toddler, we place guidelines on their environment. “Do not touch the stove.” “Do not walk into the street.” These guidelines are not to disappoint our children or limit their fun. They are put in place because we love our children and truly desire them to be safe. Have you considered that is exactly what our Heavenly Father wants?

God is our Heavenly Father who created us. He loves us. He desires for us to live lives full of joy and fun. In order for us to do that, there are things that our Father must disapprove of. Rather than looking at those things as restrictions in our lives, I challenge you to look at them as hot burners on a stove that you do not want to touch for fear of getting burned. If ignored, they can hurt and leave permanent scars. Consider the following verses:

I will walk in freedom, for I have devoted myself to your commandments.” Psalm 119:45 NLT

And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. “But we are descendants of Abraham,”they said. “We have never been slaves to anyone.” Jesus replied, “I tell you the truth, everyone who sins is a slave of sin. A slave is not a permanent member of the family, but a son is a part of the family forever. So if the Son sets you free, you are truly free.”John 8:32-36 NLT

For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don’t use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love. Galatians 5:13 NLT

I want to jump out of my seat when I hear this! It cannot be more plain than this. The Bible explains to use that there is no freedom in living a life of sin. We wind up deeper in misery. Because God designed us, he knows the intricacies of our spirit, our emotions, and our physical well-being. We must trust the he has our best interest in mind, just as you have your child’s best interest in mind.

Imagine what type of parent you would be if you allowed God to fight your battles, releasing past hurts and disappointments, releasing the roller coaster ride of living a life of sin – one foot in Christianity and the other out. We get caught up in wanting to be right, seeking revenge on those who hurt us, or feeling sorry for what has been done to us. We do not give it to God. I challenge you today to turn it all over to him. Begin to see yourself as a new person, a new creation. Allow him to carry the burden of life for you. Start your life, today. Look at parenting with a new perspective. Respect what God has given you. The Creator of this world has entrusted you with the life of a son or daughter.

Be honored. Be free


Author/Speaker, Jennifer Maggio, is one of the nation’s leading experts on single parent issues. She has been featured on more than 100 radio and television shows and dozens of magazines. She is the author of two critically-acclaimed books, founder of a free single parent magazine, and founder of one of the nation’s largest single mother support groups. For more info, visit

Single Mom shares Tips on Surviving

Woman and crying baby Picture
How a single mom makes it on $31K

Tricia has 3 kids, 2 mortgages, 1 car payment and a salary of about $31,000. While it’s not easy, she’s doing OK, thanks. Here are 15 lessons she learned the hard way.

By MP Dunleavey

While I admire the folks who were born smart about money, my true heroes are the ones who had to struggle to find that precious commodity I call financial sanity.

Take Tricia, a single mom who lives in Pennsylvania. She supports herself, three kids, two mortgages, one car payment and a couple of student loans — while still paying off her credit card debt — all on about $31,000 a year.

My first question, after squelching a sense of shame about how much my husband and I spend with just two cats to support, was: How does she do it?

A series of unfortunate events
Before Tricia started taking control of her financial life a couple of years ago, she faced one money calamity after another.
Looking for a loan?
Check out MSN Money’s
Loan Center

Married young, Tricia had three kids by the time she was in her early 20s — and a husband who would spend the next 10 years on disability from a work-related injury. But that wasn’t the hard part.

A few years later, the home they’d bought and rehabbed burned down. Though they were able to rebuild the house with the insurance money and pay off their credit cards, it didn’t cover the extra loan they’d taken out for the renovations.

“Then we discovered Atlantic City,” she says.

Losing it all
Gambling and her husband’s fascination with get-rich-quick schemes — “He sent away for those real-estate tapes, and we had a candle company there for a while” — drove up the credit cards again. Then they got a windfall of about $80,000 when her husband’s injury claim was settled.

Unfortunately, it was the late ’90s, and her cousin was their broker. “He was new at the company, so he was just taking all their recommendations,” she says. He put almost the entire windfall into tech stocks.

“Gone, all of it, in the market crash.”

Trying to turn the Titanic around
While some of this was just lousy luck, Tricia knew that longstanding bad habits were also to blame. “I can tell you the all-too-familiar story of the unhappy wife who shops to make herself feel better,” she says. “I never bought things for myself, always everyone else.”

More ‘Women in Red’ on MSN Money
Related resources image
•    Follow the exploits of the ‘Women in Red’ daily in MSN Spaces
•    Meet the ‘Women in Red’
•    7 stages of lasting financial change
•    7 ways to control your emotional spending
•    Start with saving; the spending will follow
•    5 steps to total financial control
•    Sign up for MP Dunleavey’s newsletter at her home page

She knew there was a way to get on top of her endless money problems, and despite the circumstances, she was trying to find it.

“I was always a fan of those financial self-help books, and whenever I saw one at the library, I grabbed it,” Tricia says. But as most of us have learned, it takes years to change old attitudes and habits — and then you still have to dig yourself out of the hole.

It wasn’t until Tricia divorced her husband a few years ago that things hit rock bottom. “After he left, I just couldn’t make ends meet,” she said. That’s when she realized: It wasn’t one thing that had to change, it was everything.

Tricia’s book of revelation
Tricia credits a close friend she made during that desperate time with helping her change her financial philosophy. “This woman has a lot more money than I do,” she says, “and at first I was jealous and resentful.”

Then she began to realize that the reason her friend had more money wasn’t because she was born rich but because she saved constantly and only spent her money on what was truly essential.

Slowly, over the last three years, Tricia began a new financial life. It hasn’t been easy, but realizing she wanted more out of life than the treadmill of debt and struggle has kept her moving forward.

Here are some of the ways she manages to keep body, soul and family together on $553 a week, net pay, including child support.

Tricia’s tips
# Think different. “A big thing that’s changed over the last two years is the way I think of shopping and purchases. I used to be more impulsive. I’ve learned to ask myself: ‘Why do you need to buy that? Why does my kid need that?’ Give me a reason to spend the money. I’ve really learned the difference between necessities and luxuries.”

# Use technology to your advantage. “I’ve been using money software for years,” she says. She also uses a spreadsheet to monitor spending on certain items, from one month or week to the next. “I don’t think I’d have this much control without software.”

# Plan ahead. Tricia uses the computer to map out all her fixed expenses (utilities, phone, mortgage) for the entire year. “That way, I see immediately when I spend on extras.”

# Live a balanced life. “I balance my checkbook daily. Some people might think that was crazy, but it forces me to see the numbers every day. If you make so many purchases during the week, it’s too easy to say, ‘I can’t believe I spent all that money!'”

# Pay off debt weekly. Tricia has about $4,000 in credit-card debt on two cards. In addition to making the monthly minimum payment, she sends an additional payment each week. “Another good strategy is to add whatever interest you were charged that month to your minimums. Every little bit helps.”

# Bank that tax refund. As she has for the last few years, Tricia is taking her $3,600 refund and putting it in the bank. “I know I could pay off my credit cards faster if I used that, but this is what covers all the unexpected expenses during the year.”

# Rely on the kindness of friends. When Tricia was trying to master these new habits, a friend suggested he could create an “escrow account” for her. She put extra money (like the refund) into that account — and could only access the cash if she discussed it first with her money buddy. “That made it harder to ask for, so I only spent that money when I absolutely had to — for heating oil or for something one of my kids needed.”

Smart shopping; facing reality
# Never pay full price. “Clearance is my favorite word,” Tricia jokes. Her other trick for finding high-quality items at low prices: consignment shops. Now her daughter is a fan, too.

# Give up your fantasies. “One thing that contributed to my ‘turning point’ was reading a book, ‘Women Who Think Too Much.’ Something stuck with me. Many women are just waiting to be rescued. I wanted to be taken care of, but I’m the only one who can do that.”

# Wait before you shop. When Tricia knows she needs shampoo or groceries, she resists the urge to go shopping. “I have only (so) much budgeted for groceries. So when we get close to that amount, rather than go to the store, I say: ‘What’s in the freezer?'” Although she paid for her son’s gas while he was in technical school, she gave him the same strict instructions: “You can spend X per week on gas. When that runs out, you don’t drive.”

# Scale back the services. Because her house is in a rural location, Tricia has to pay for basic cable. But she took the long-distance service off her land line. “We never used it, and yet there were always these little charges on the bill.”

# Bargain for everything. To help out her two oldest children, Tricia struck a deal with the cell-phone company: three phones for $100 a month. Now she’s trying to see if she can get a three-way discount on student loans: two for her college-age kids and one for her while she completes a BA.

Passing along what you learn
# Teach your children well. Tricia has no problem explaining the financial facts of life to her kids. Now that her oldest is done with technical school, “we’ve had several conversations about the fact that I won’t be paying for his phone or his car anymore.”

# Keep learning. “Educate yourself,” Tricia says. “Read anything you can that might help you stick to a plan.” A favorite quote she read recently: “Squirrels end up with millions because they put the nuts away, not because they make lots of nuts.”

# Never pass up a freebie. “I love Nascar racing, so I work at the track when they race nearby. I raise money for our high-school band, and best of all, I can enjoy an experience that would otherwise cost $50 or more. My boss offered me tickets to see our local Triple-A minor league baseball team — and it’s through our local public broadcasting company. We will have VIP seats and be fed. What a great way to spend time with my children!”

Back to School Prayer for Single Parents

Woman and crying baby PictureLord I acknowledge you whole heartedly as the source and strength of my life and the life of my child(ren). As the primary caretaker and provider in my home I lean to you for strength and continued blessings over my family, home, finances and health.

Although not your perfect will for the family unit, I realize through your very word that there is no condemnation in Christ and that as a single parent I too am heir to your blessings and kingdom benefits that include; peace that passes understanding, abundant living, unspeakable joy, prosperity, success. I acknowledge any shortcomings, weaknesses and inadequacies and replace them with your omnipotent power believing that I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me.

During times when the homework appears to be difficult, the tuition bill appears to be overwhelming or even when awkward questions arise pertaining to the other parent, I will look towards the hills from whence comes my help because my help comes from the Lord.

Assuredly there will be moments of weakness, perhaps even remorse and regret about past circumstances but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forth unto those things which are before.

As we enter into a new season of learning and growing, academically and spiritually, I embrace this opportunity to hear your voice and to move forward. I acknowledge your presence and your faithfulness in keeping your word. Even thru layoffs, illness, domestic violence, transitions, divorce and any temporary setback in the form of adversity, you have never and will never leave me nor forsake me.

Lord, please keep the minds of all of the students in my household focused and fertilized for learning that we might achieve great academic success. Thank you for all that you have done, are doing and will do and it is in Jesus’ name that I pray and give thanks. Amen.

Joy Turner is the Author of “Content…Right Where I Am”. Visit her website at

Single Mom Quotes – Motivational Aid for Single Mothers

Woman and crying baby Picture

Single moms do it all. They are the cook, chauffeur, maid, nurse, teacher and more – and that’s before leaving the house to earn a living to support their kids!

In the bustle of maintaining such a hectic life, it’s not uncommon for single moms to lose sight of just how much they are appreciated for all that they do. These single mom quotes and quotes about single mothers are a reminder to take the time to reflect on a job well done and remember that no one has to walk this path alone.

Funny Single Mom Quotes to Lift Spirits

Go on, have a laugh! When life is stressful and it seems the most demanding job in the world is that of a single mom, help put things in perspective with a good dose of humor and know that the most challenging times won’t last forever. As Animal Dreams author Barbara Kingsolver quipped, “It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn’t.”

Comedienne Phyllis Diller famously said of the child-rearing experience, “It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder, and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.” This is a great reminder to parents, especially single mothers, that there might have been a time when this was her greatest desire, to create a family and raise good children. That wasn’t an unrealistic vision; it just takes patience and it is important to remember that feeling of wanting to appreciate that dream coming true.

There are a great many one-liners on parenting out there to rush to the aid of a stressed single mother, among them:

  • “The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.” ~ Lane Olinghouse
  • “Sing out loud in the car, even, or especially, if it embarrasses your children.” ~ Marilyn Penland
  • “When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.” ~ Erma Bombeck

The following anonymous quote sums up exactly how a single mom might feel after a particularly rough day: “I love to play hide-and-seek with my kid, but some days my goal is to find a hiding place where he can’t find me until after high school.” It can help a single mom to remind herself that this is a common feeling and it doesn’t make her a bad parent.

Read on

When the challenges of single parenthood seem insurmountable, sleep is at an all-time low, there aren’t enough hours in the day, and responsibilities seem to crush the spirit, remember these words of wisdom:

  • “A parent’s love is whole, no matter how many times divided.” ~ Robert Brault
  • “Don’t handicap your children by making their lives easy.” ~ Robert A. Heinlein
  • “Your children need your presence more than your presents.” ~ Jesse Jackson

Mignon McLaughlin might have captured the feeling that motherhood can feel completely thankless with this: “Ma-ma does everything for the baby, who responds by saying Da-da first.” As exhausting and futile as it may seem at times, all children grow into young adults and begin to understand the sacrifices their mother made for them. Some see this early on, while others may have to have children of their own to fully appreciate their mother’s efforts.

Single Mom Quotes That Tug on the Heart Strings

As overwhelming and all-encompassing as the responsibilities of single motherhood are, the love between mother and child can overshadow the negative or challenging times. Remember there is a great purpose to all of this hard work: raising a child is molding them into an adult; there is no greater responsibility. In the words of the Talmud, “When you teach your son, you teach your son’s son.”

Print these single mom quotes on post-its and put them up around the house as a reminder to see the big picture and remember what a great purpose life as a mother serves:

  • “A child enters your home and for the next twenty years makes so much noise you can hardly stand it. The child departs, leaving the house so silent you think you are going mad.” ~ John Andrew Holmes
  • “The trouble with being a parent is that by the time you are experienced, you are unemployed.” ~ Anonymous
  • “Whenever I held my newborn baby in my arms, I used to think that what I said and did to him could have an influence not only on him, but on all whom he met, not only for a day or a month or a year, but for all eternity – a very challenging and exciting thought for a mother.” ~ Rose Kennedy

Reading motivational quotes and reflecting on the experiences of others is a great aid for single mothers in need of perspective and encouragement. Keep a journal of meaningful poems, stories, and quotes, or post them around the house for a visual reminder that others have walked this road – and come out better for it on the other side.

Source for Quotes: Parent Quotes at Quote Garden (accessed April 11, 2010).

Advanced Stage Super Woman Syndrome: Are You Infected?

Joy Turner Picture E

When God created woman, He took his time with every intricate detail, every emotion, each curve and every delicate feature. He gave woman everything that she required to be fit and adaptable, to be a help meet to man, a mother to her children and a diligent woman of God with a heart to serve.

But ladies… mothers, my single mothers in particular, is there anywhere in the bible that mentions this “super woman” character? Is there anywhere that mentions that we were called to be “superheroes”? I couldn’t find it anywhere in the word of God yet here I stand guilty of striving to be everything God called me to be plus any and everything in between.

And of course I can easily justify this because I am in fact a single mother. My choices, decisions and actions should have no bearing on my son’s life and growth so I simply must gird up my loins and do what I have to do. After all it was my choice that yielded these life changing and long lasting consequences right? So yes I am guilty of saying one too many “yes” when my answer should have been a distinct and unwavering “no.”

I am guilty of adding far more to the plate than what I should and I am undeniably “that woman” who has walked around with the proverbial “S” on my chest thinking that I had it all together, all cranked up in high gear. But somewhere along the line, my “S” started to slip, cape became tethered and my mask began to tear revealing the real woman underneath.

The real single woman who desires to be married someday but wants to tough it out so that the world can know she is capable of handling her own. The woman who at times can be bossy but secretly longs for the right one to “man up” and take his rightful position by her side.

The sister who can appear to be a bit demanding and sporadic yet who is stabilized by the love and support of her brothers; the daughter who aspires to be just like her mother but realizes now that this may never be since God created them to be totally different.

The single mom who loves her son but simply doesn’t understand all of his “growing pains” accompanied with hormonal changes and “attitude” as he suddenly morphs into a pre-teen. Somewhere along the line, the idea was formed and accepted as unwritten code of law that it was no longer acceptable to be this “real woman.” Becoming a “Superhero” was the order for the day and it was no longer enough to just be this “real woman.” But somewhere in the midst of my “Superhero” duties, I began to falter, falling to illness a little bit more often that I would have desired.

I found myself sluggish and exhausted, feeling as though no matter how much I had accomplished in a day that my work would never be complete. I began to have anxiety attacks when a deadline was fast approaching knowing that I had several coals in the fire. And without even completing one task, assignment or project I would eagerly take on yet another one or two more, looking at my proverbial “biceps” and figuring that I was “strong enough” to handle it all.

As a single mother, I began to lose sight of the balance that was required to be an effective and victorious single mom and woman. I started to lose sight of my priorities and in a blink all of my “wonder woman” efforts were meaningless and futile to my son who simply needed me to hold undistracted conversations with him about basketball, Iron Man and our summer vacation plans.

Nights when I should have cooked dinner were replaced with fast food and junk leading to poor nutritional habits but yet I was “Super Mom.” Each week I would pile my schedule high to include radio stints, book signings, appointments and even a few television appearances. To the world I appeared to be a “Super Star” but back home, the laundry had piled up, house was in disarray and many tasks were simply left undone. The activities and engagements that began to fill up my calendar were no doubt positive, productive and even godly but not everything that I put in my little day planner or PDA was necessarily approved by God.

What is that scripture about something being lawful but not expedient? (I Corinthians 10:23) Finally after being simply mentally, physically and spiritually drained I was no longer able to deny it. I not only had a classic case of “Super Woman Syndrome” but I was in the “Advanced Stage.” One of the classic symptoms of this phase is realizing that you’re overwhelmed but insisting that it is your job, your obligation to handle EVERYTHING.

Phrases like “I got this” and “I’ll be alright” become your mantra yet you feel yourself sinking as the pressure builds up. I had to first acknowledge that I was indeed doing too much for one person to reasonably balance and I then had to turn it all over to God. The word of God says in Matthew 11:28 “Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”

Sure, I have obligations to fulfill in each role as mother, sister, daughter, intercessor, musician, writer, editor, consultant and the list goes on and on and on. But I had to look to God’s word and understand how he created all of us to have a healthy balance.

I gradually started removing things off the plate, finishing tasks that I had long forsaken and getting back to the basics. I began to bump up my prayer life and spend more time with God.

Please note that I did not say that I attended more church services or joined more ministries. In fact, as I began to seek God’s face, I realized that I had to let some things go. Not knowing how others would react I had to allow the peace of God to direct and order my steps. So what is the lesson learned here? Well there are 3 major points that I’d like to drive home.

1.   All power belongs to God and if I am to be strong at all it is in the power of HIS might, not my own (Ephesians 6:10.)

2.  According to Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me but apart from His grace, I am merely a woman, no “super” attached so I no longer have to assume that role.

3.  His grace is all that I need to sustain me even despite my flaws, idiosyncrasies and weaknesses and that settles it, period. (II Corinthians 12:9)

If you’ve been infected and can identify with the symptoms of this life crippling syndrome, just know that there is deliverance available and you no longer have to suffer from “Advanced Stage Super Woman Syndrome.” Let the healing begin!

Joy & Blessings!

Joy Turner is the Author of “Content…Right Where I Am”. Visit her website at

Single Parent

Woman and crying baby PictureI, single parent, mother to one son age 10 am truly beginning to embrace motherhood in a way that I probably wouldn’t be able to conceive had I not been walking hand in hand with Christ. After surviving multiple trips to the emergency room for nebulizer treatments, one negative phone call from a teacher at his school, dozens of evasive questions about the relationship between his father and me, I truly felt like I wasn’t fully equipped for this single-parenting concept.

After many more tears, trials and tribulations, here I am still standing and loving being a single mother. I stumble, I fall, I feel inadequate and the other day I had to laugh at myself for pulling up instructions on to tie my son’s tie for church. I truly believe that God extends His hand of grace towards the clueless and in that manner of respect I am so thankful that He hasn’t revoked my parenting privileges.

You may laugh and think that I’ve lost all sense and sensibility but I truly have learned to allow God to lead and guide me not only through single parenting but in every aspect of my life. I believe that God’s word really is my parenting manual. Sometimes it becomes critical to remind myself that God’s strength is made perfect in my weakness. So when I was laid off (twice) and my car repossessed (three times), I had to learn how to proclaim that the Lord is my shepherd I shall not want and that He would provide our needs according to His riches in glory.

Then there was the time when my son caught some highly contagious, horrible stomach flu bug and was admitted in the hospital with severe dehydration, God brought to my remembrance that Jesus died for our transgressions and by His stripes we are healed. When my son comes home from school with assignments that are difficult, I encourage him to recite our memory verse “I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me”.

Most recently I had to console my son after the loss of my father, his “pop-pop” and God strengthened me that I might be able to relay to him how precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints. Parenting is truly a “faith walk” (we walk by faith and not by sight) so I, single parent am committed to completing my life-long journey as a mother, one title that I will embrace for a life-time.


Joy Turner
Author, Speaker, Freelance Writer, Entrepreneur and Full-time Single Mom
Visit her site at